When We Visit My Parents, It Becomes an Endless Shower of Gifts

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Every time we visit my parents, my son gets showered with gifts. I know they do it out of love, but I’m worried it’s having a bad effect on him. I don’t want him to get used to receiving something new every time he sees them because then at home, he doesn’t understand why he can’t have everything he wants. After these visits, he also seems more demanding and rebellious, like he expects the whole world to spoil him the same way. I don’t want him to lose the value of things, but I also don’t want to seem ungrateful to my parents. Anyone else dealing with this?

2

Omg yes, this is my life right now. My in, laws live a few states away, so whenever we visit, they go overboard with gifts because they feel guilty they don’t see the kids often. It’s sweet, but now my 3yo literally asks, Where’s my present? when we get to their house. I feel like I’m constantly trying to undo the damage when we get home, explaining that we don’t always get toys just because we see Grandma and Grandpa. No advice, just solidarity, this is hard

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It’s very difficult because you don’t want to sound unpleasant, but at the same time, you see the long, term consequences. I swear after every visit, my son turns into a little dictator. I mean, no, you don’t get a gift just for existing, I doubt it. It’s exhausting having to reteach him gratitude every time

4

This is my struggle. My parents even get offended if I try to talk about it. How can I even bring it up without it becoming an issue? I feel like if I say “please stop,” they’ll sneak me gifts in some other way. Do I just let it go?

5

One thing that worked for us was implementing the one in, one out rule. Every time my parents gave a gift, my son had to choose something to donate. This made him more mindful and less attached to the idea of constantly receiving new things. Also, talking to your parents in a positive way, such as, We want him to really appreciate the special things you give him, so we’d love to make them more meaningful, can help. If they feel like they’re making a bigger impact, they might be more willing to downsize!