I want to teach him gratitude but without forcing him so I started with the example. Every time he helped me with something, even if it was small, I would say thank you with emotion and a smile. At first, he didn’t seem to notice the difference, but little by little, he began to imitate me. One day, I gave him his juice, and without thinking, he said “thank you, Mom,” and it sounded so genuine, almost made me want to cry. I understood that gratitude is not imposed, it is sown.
But I still feel frustrated. I give him snacks, buy him toys, and help with his homework, and barely get a murmur of thanks in return. Is this normal for a 3-year-old? I know it’s a process, but I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong. Any tips on how to nurture more gratitude in him without pushing too hard?
Ugh, same here! My 3 year old barely says thanks for anything. I keep hoping the “role modeling” thing works, but I’m still waiting for that magic moment where it clicks!
With my older kids, I found that the best way to build gratitude was through consistency, but also patience. You’re already doing great by modeling it yourself, eventually, they do pick it up, even if it feels like it’s taking forever. With my youngest, it wasn’t until around 4 that I really saw the shift in how he expressed gratitude. So maybe it just takes a little more time? Honestly, I think your approach is on the right track! Maybe you could also try a little gratitude journal for him, like drawing pictures of what he’s thankful for. Just keep up the good work and don’t lose heart. They’ll get there!
I hear you. It can feel like all that effort goes unnoticed, but trust me, they absorb more than we realize at this age. My kid didn’t say “thank you” regularly until about 4. I think it’s just part of the process, kids at this age are focused on their own needs and emotions, so showing gratitude takes time to develop. Keep doing what you’re doing; eventually, it will click, and you’ll start hearing it more often! If it helps, we also started giving “thank you” stickers after my son said it, and that seemed to help reinforce it in a positive way. Hang in there!
I’m with you on this one! When my first child was around 3, I tried every trick to get them to show gratitude, and it felt like nothing worked. But looking back, I realized that kids that young just aren’t really wired to fully understand that concept yet. It’s really about laying the foundation with those small actions, just like what you’re doing now. What helped for us was linking gratitude to a consequence (in a gentle way). For example, if my child didn’t thank me for something, I’d simply remind them in a calm voice, “We say thank you when someone does something nice for us.” And we’d also celebrate moments of gratitude, like a big “thank you!” when they said it on their own. Honestly, they started imitating it, and by 4, it felt a lot more natural. Keep focusing on the small wins, and soon enough, you’ll see those “thank yous” start to flow. The emotional payoff is so worth it!
Haha, omg, this post is so real! My 4 year old is exactly the same! I gave them a toy the other day and I kid you not, they just looked at it and said, “Where’s the other one?” Lol, I was like, excuse me?! It’s tough when they just expect things and don’t recognize how much goes into it. I’ve started telling them stories about how I used to do nice things for others as a kid to show the “value” behind gratitude. Honestly, it’s like talking to a wall sometimes, but occasionally I get a “thank you” after a big show of me thanking them first. I don’t know what works, but I think it’s all about patience and staying consistent. One day, it’ll sink in… right? 
You’re not alone in feeling like this! I had the same struggle with my oldest, who was around 3 when we went through this phase. I remember giving him snacks, toys, even helping him with small things and not getting anything in return. It was disheartening, honestly. I eventually realized that gratitude has to be practiced, and it’s not something you can just tell them to do. They have to see it in action and experience it themselves. With my younger one, I tried making “thank you” a bigger deal. Like, we’d pause after giving something and have a little “thank you” ceremony, almost like a mini celebration for every “thank you” they said. I’m not saying it was perfect, but it helped them understand that gratitude is something we show every day. Stay consistent, and don’t stress too much, children really do grow into it, and what you’re doing will pay off in the long run