He says his tummy hurts or that he’s really tired but at home he plays around as if nothing’s wrong so I don’t know if something’s wrong with him there or if he just doesn’t like going… It breaks my heart to leave him crying at the door but I also wonder if I’m forcing him too much or if it’s just a normal stage… I don’t want him to start rejecting school later on but I also don’t want to pressure him if something really isn’t right… I just feel stuck. I’m trying to listen to him but also do what’s best in the long run, and the guilt is eating me up. Is anyone else going through this or been through this??
Oh man, this is tough I’ve got no advice, just here to say I totally get how heartbreaking that drop, off can be Sometimes I sit in the car after and cry too You’re not alone
This sounds so much like what happened with my daughter a few months back. She started doing the tummy ache thing too, and at first I thought maybe she was coming down with something or just adjusting, but then it kept happening Like your son, she’d be totally fine at home afterward, full of energy, laughing, playing… it made me wonder if something was up at daycare too.
I ended up scheduling a casual check-in with her teacher and just kind of observed for a few days (drop-off, pick-up, etc) Turned out it was nothing big, just a rough patch where two of her little friends had moved up to a different classroom, and she was feeling kind of out of place. Once we knew that, we could talk to her about it and work with the teachers to help her settle in again Took a couple of weeks but it made a big difference.
Just wanted to say it could be a phase, but trust your gut, check in, ask questions, and see what you can learn Hang in there 
omg sounds like my son last year!! every morning he’d drag his feet like we were sending him to a dungeon 
“my legs don’t work!” or “I forgot how to walk!” like okay sir, but you were just sprinting around the living room two minutes ago??
for us it was totally a control thing. he didn’t love the idea of separating from me again after summer break and was doing whatever he could to stall or stay home once I gave him some power, like picking his outfit or choosing a song for the ride, things got way easier still had a few dramatic drop offs but way less resistance
This was us not long ago and honestly what helped was adding a super predictable goodbye routine Like we made it almost like a little “ritual”, high five, big hug, then one silly dance move before I handed him off The first few days I felt ridiculous doing it lol but he started looking forward to it. It helped give him a sense of control and consistency
Also, I learned to really pay attention to patterns. Like is it worse on Mondays? After a long weekend? Is he eating breakfast? That stuff all played a role for my kiddo. When we adjusted our morning rhythm, waking up a bit earlier, keeping the TV off, and giving him a few “calm time” minutes before we left, it made the drop-offs way smoother. Not perfect, but so much better than the screaming and clinging we had before.
If you’re worried something’s happening at daycare, definitely talk to the teachers The good ones are super used to kids going through these phases and can usually give insight You’re doing great for even being this tuned in, truly
This is such a common age for separation anxiety to pop back up. I totally panicked the first time too and thought something must be wrong at daycare. I ended up reading a bit about the “regression” that can happen around 3, and it gave me some perspective—kids this age are learning to assert independence but also still very attached to their primary caregivers.
What worked best for us was actually practicing “goodbye” at home Like we’d play pretend daycare and act out drop-off scenes. Sometimes I’d play him and he’d play me, and it helped him get more comfortable expressing what he was feeling Also gave me a few clues—he once said “I don’t know where you go when you leave,” and I realized just explaining where I’d be and what I’d be doing helped ease his fear
Consistency and empathy were key, even when it was hard I reminded him every morning “You’re safe, I always come back,” and slowly it started to stick We also read books like Llama Llama Misses Mama and The Kissing Hand, which gave us ways to talk about it It’s a slow shift, but it’s possible, and you’re not alone in it