It’s heartbreaking. I’ve tried everything. I talk to him about how much fun it will be, about the toys, the new friends, I even promised him ice cream on the way out if he went without making a scene. Nothing works. He says he wants to stay with me, that he doesn’t like being there. And I, between the feeling of guilt and the work he doesn’t expect, don’t know what to do.
How do you explain to a little kid that daycare isn’t a punishment? That it’s a place where he can learn, play, and be happy? Sometimes I wonder if he’s too young or if it’s normal for all kids to go through this. What hurts me the most is seeing him cling to me so tightly, and me having to let him go.
Am I doing the right thing? Or am I forcing him too soon?
I feel for you so much. My daughter did the exact same thing when she was 4. Every drop, off was like peeling Velcro. It was awful. It’s so hard because you know daycare is good for them, but seeing them cry is just brutal. It took a couple of months (I know, I’m sorry!) but she eventually started getting excited to see her friends. Hang in there, he’ll get there too
You’re definitely not alone. My 3-year-old went through a phase just like this last year. What helped us was focusing on a consistent goodbye routine. We’d always do a “hug, kiss, high five” and then I’d leave with a big smile. Even if I felt like crying inside. It took some time, but now she runs into daycare without even looking back. It’ll get better, I promise!
Omg, my heart aches just reading this. You’re doing amazing, mama. The guilt is real, and it’s such a hard balance. Just know that it’s okay to feel sad about it, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong
I went through this with my son when he was about 5, and honestly, what worked for us was using a visual schedule. I made little cards with pictures of daycare activities (circle time, snacks, outdoor play), and every morning we’d go through what his day would look like. It seemed to help him feel more in control. Also, maybe check in with the daycare teachers, they might have suggestions or know if something specific is bothering him there
I’m a former daycare teacher, and I promise this is super common! Separation anxiety peaks for some kids around 3, 4, and it can feel like the worst thing ever in the moment. One thing that helped parents in my class was sending a small comfort item from home, like a little toy or a family photo. Some kids just need something to remind them of home until they settle in. And don’t underestimate the power of a super quick goodbye, sometimes dragging it out makes it harder
My son was the exact same way. I used to cry in the car after drop, off because I felt so guilty. One thing I learned is that kids sense our emotions, and I realized I was hesitating too much at the door, trying to comfort him. Once I started showing confidence in him, things slowly started to change. Like I’d say, “You’ve got this! You’re going to have so much fun!” It wasn’t overnight, but it made a difference
My son, who’s now 8, was the same way when he started daycare at 4. It was a nightmare for weeks. What finally helped was letting him pick a special “daycare buddy” (a small stuffed animal) that he could take with him every day. He started feeling like he had a little piece of home with him. Now he’s in school, super independent, and I’m the one crying because he doesn’t need me as much. It gets easier, I promise
Wow, this sounds so familiar. My daughter keeps saying she “doesn’t like daycare” either, but she can’t tell me why. Like, is it the routine? The other kids? I don’t know how to figure out what’s going on in her little brain. Does your son say anything specific, or is it just “I want to stay with you”? I wonder if there’s a way to get them to open up about it more