With a heartbreaking anguish. He clung to me with all his might, screaming as if I were abandoning him forever. The teachers tried to calm him down, but his crying only got louder. I couldn’t stand it; I hugged him and took him back home. Now I wonder if I did wrong… Should I have insisted he stay? Am I teaching him that if he cries, I’ll take him out? I just want to do the right thing, but I feel lost
Ohhh I know that feeling too well. My daughter went through the same thing when she first started daycare, and it just shattered me. Every morning was a battle, I’d leave feeling like the worst mom ever. But after a few weeks, she adjusted, and now she runs in without looking back. It’s so hard in the moment, but separation anxiety is normal at this age. I promise you’re not alone in this, and you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just a loving mom trying to figure it out like the rest of us
Omg I went through this exact thing with my little guy when he was 3. I walked out of daycare sobbing because I felt like I had abandoned him. But you know what? The teachers told me he stopped crying after five minutes. five minutes. Meanwhile, I spent the whole day feeling like a monster. I started doing quick goodbyes, kiss, hug, I love you, see you soon!, and then leaving no matter how much he cried. It took a couple weeks, but now he barely waves at me before running off to play. You did what felt right in the moment, and that’s okay. Next time, if you decide to leave him, know that he will adjust. Hang in there, mama
My son just started daycare last week, and every morning has been a meltdown. Does it ever get easier?? How long did it take for other kids to adjust??
I have older kid now, but I remember this phase so well. The thing that helped me was consistency. If you bring him home after he cries, he might start thinking crying - going home. Try to create a drop off routine, maybe a special handshake or a goodbye song. Keep it short and positive, even if he’s upset. The teachers are used to this, and most kids calm down within minutes. It’s hard, I won’t lie, but the more consistent you are, the quicker he’ll adjust. My youngest used to cry every morning, and now she happily skips into preschool. You’re doing great, just give it some time
This stage is so rough, but I promise it doesn’t last forever. I remember thinking my daughter would never stop crying at drop, off, but now she loves school. One thing that really helped was a comfort object, a small stuffed animal or even a family photo in her backpack. It gave her a sense of security. We also read books about daycare at home so she knew what to expect. The first few weeks are an adjustment, but you’re not damaging him or making a mistake. You’re helping him learn a new routine, and that’s a good thing. Be gentle with yourself, this is tough, but you’re doing the right thing
With my son, I made the mistake of staying too long, thinking I was helping him. But, in reality, it only made things more complicated. With my second son, I kept the drop-offs short and sweet, and he adjusted much more quickly. If you can, talk to his teachers and ask them how long he cries after you leave. Chances are it’s a lot less than you think. The guilt is real, but remember: this is part of growing up. You can do it, Mom
One thing that worked wonders for us was the 2 minute goodbye rule. Before we left the house, I’d say, When we get to daycare, we’ll hug for two minutes, then I’ll go. When we arrived, I’d set a timer and give him my full attention for those two minutes, hugs, reassurance, whatever he needed. When the timer went off, I’d say, Okay, time for your big hug! I love you, see you soon! and walk out, no lingering. It gave him a clear expectation, and after a week, he stopped fighting drop offs so hard. Maybe something like this could help?