I don’t know how to guide him through this. He used to play with any kid at the park without thinking much, but now he has favorites, talks about them at home, and even worries about what people think of him. I’m excited to see him grow like this, but I’m also scared that he doesn’t know how. Sometimes I see him insecure, wanting to fit in, and I wonder if I should intervene or let him learn on his own.
Omg, this hit home for me. My daughter is almost 6 and she went from being that kid who’d run up to anyone on the playground to suddenly being very aware of who she wants to play with. She even told me once that she was scared a friend wouldn’t like her anymore. It broke my heart! I try to remind her that real friends will always like her for who she is, but I also know she has to learn that on her own. It’s hard watching them go through it, but I think it’s all part of the process
This is such an exciting stage, even if it’s nerve, wracking! It means he’s developing deeper social skills, which will help him long-term. I saw this with my now 9 year old, and I worried a lot too. But over time, they figure it out. He’ll learn what makes a good friend and what doesn’t, and that’s a great life skill. You can guide him by talking about kindness, boundaries, and being himself, but the fact that you care so much already shows you’re doing great!
My oldest is 10 now, and trust me, this stage is just the beginning. Friendships will change A LOT over the years, and you’ll see him go through ups and downs. What helped me was teaching my son how to handle disappointment and conflicts in friendships. Instead of jumping in every time he felt left out, I’d ask, “What do you think you can do?” It took practice, but now he’s so much better at handling these things on his own
This makes me wonder, how much do you step in when things get tricky? My daughter (also 5) had a friend at preschool who started leaving her out, and I wasn’t sure if I should encourage her to find new friends or help her work through it. I don’t want to micromanage, but I also hate seeing her sad. How do you handle it?
I love all these perspectives, it’s really reassuring to hear from parents who’ve been through it! I think I need to work on letting him experience some of the struggles without always jumping in to fix them. It’s hard, but I don’t want to accidentally make him more insecure by hovering. I’ll definitely try some of these ideas, especially role-playing. Thanks, everyone!