He says it’s not fair that I’m always scolding him. I just want him to understand limits and respect, but it seems that the more I say to him, the less he pays attention. I feel frustrated and exhausted. Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing things right. If by setting limits so much I’m creating a rebellious child. But then I think, if I don’t do it, what kind of adult will he be? I want him to learn discipline
I hear you. My kid is 7, and I feel like we’re in constant battle mode too. It’s like I say no to something, and he just sees it as an invitation to negotiate. And the worst part? Sometimes I do give in because I just don’t have the energy for yet another argument. Then I feel guilty for not sticking to my word. It’s exhausting. You’re not alone in this. I think all of us wonder if we’re being too strict or too lenient at some point
Emily, I know it feels like an endless cycle right now, but I promise it gets better. You’re setting foundations, and even if it doesn’t feel like it, your son is absorbing it. Kids push boundaries not because they don’t respect us, but because they’re learning how the world works. It’s a good thing that he’s questioning fairness, it means he’s thinking critically. Keep holding firm on what’s important, but also try to pick your battles. Some hills aren’t worth dying on. You got this, mama. 
I swear my kid must have a secret list of my rules just so he can challenge each one at least once a day. It’s like a sport for him. Some days I feel like I’m just talking to a wall, and I wonder if anything I say actually sticks. No advice here, just solidarity. Parenting is tough
Oh, I remember that phase so well! My daughter is 12 now, and let me tell you, the strong-willed battles you’re dealing with now will actually serve them well later, if you keep guiding them. The trick is to be consistent but also give them a sense of control where you can. Instead of just saying “no,” try offering two choices that you’re okay with. It helps them feel like they have some say, even when they’re still following your limits. You’re doing the right thing by teaching him respect and boundaries. Keep at it, and one day he’ll surprise you by repeating your words back to you in a moment when he needs them. 
I have no idea how much discipline is too much or too little either. Like, how do you teach a kid respect without making them resent you? I don’t want to be a pushover, but I also don’t want to be the “mean” mom all the time. Do any of you have a way to set boundaries without constant fights?
Something that’s helped in my house is setting clear expectations before conflict happens. I started doing family meetings on Sundays where we talk about the week, any upcoming challenges, and what’s expected. When kids feel like they have a say in the rules, they’re way more likely to follow them. Also, try positive reinforcement, noticing and acknowledging good behavior instead of only pointing out what they do wrong. My son actually started reminding me about some of the rules because he felt involved in making them. Worth a shot!
Wow, thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. It helps so much just knowing I’m not the only one struggling with this. I really like the idea of letting him have some choices within the limits I set. And the family meetings idea sounds amazing, I’m definitely trying that. I really appreciate all of you for taking the time to respond. Parenting is so hard, but at least we’re in this together. 
Discipline is such a fine balance, but from raising three kids, here’s what I’ve learned: consistency is key. If you give in even once, they’ll remember and push harder next time. At the same time, they also need to see that you’re human and willing to listen. When my kids would complain about fairness, I’d let them state their case and then explain my reasoning. They didn’t always like it, but they felt heard, which made a big difference. And don’t be afraid to apologize if you go too far, kids respect that.