I want to be firm but also fair. Sometimes I worry that I’m too strict, other times too lenient. I try to set clear rules, but I also need to remember that my child is learning and growing. It’s about finding that sweet spot where they understand what’s expected but also feel supported. It’s tough, but I know it’s all part of helping them become responsible and respectful.
It’s exhausting! Just know you’re doing your best.
You’re not alone in feeling this way. What helped me was finding a system that worked for everyone in our family. For example, we made a family rules chart together. The kids got to help decide what the rules would be (with some guidance, of course), and we all agreed on the consequences. This way, they feel like they have some ownership of the rules. Also, I started having mom checkins with each kid once a week, where we talk about how they’re feeling about the rules and if they’re struggling with anything or just play… you know that connection time is so important. It’s not perfect, but I’ve noticed fewer battles and more understanding all around.
OMG, I get it. My 9 year old asked the other day why I’m “so mean” just because I asked them to put their shoes away, like, really?! I swear, finding the balance feels like walking a tightrope some days. Too strict, and they think you’re a dictator, too lenient, and suddenly they’re running wild. What I’ve started doing is picking my battles. My house isn’t Pinterest perfect, and I’ve accepted that. But my kids know the big non negotiables, like no hitting, no lying, and bedtime is bedtime. Everything else? Well, let’s just say the toys don’t put themselves away, but at least the tantrums have decreased. It’s all about survival some days, lol.
Let me know if you need more support!
Thanks, everyone, for the support and ideas! I love the idea of involving the kids in setting the rules, I think it might help them feel more accountable. And I need to get better at celebrating the good moments; sometimes it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong. It’s a journey for sure, but hearing from all of you makes me feel like I’m not alone in figuring this out.
I feel you on this! I have three kids, and each one needs something different when it comes to discipline. My oldest takes everything to heart, so if I’m too firm, he shuts down. My middle one is stubborn and needs clearer consequences, and my youngest still doesn’t quite get rules. I’ve started using positive reinforcement more often, like calling out the good behavior I see, which helps them feel seen. It’s definitely a balancing act, and I still question myself daily, but we’re all learning together, right?