Iām at my witsā end with my daughter. Sheās 9 and lately she finds the negative in everything. Last night, we were playing cards, and even though she won, she kept talking about how bad the game was. Itās like this with everything: school, sports, even fun family activities. No matter how much I try to cheer her up or shift her focus, she clings to the negatives. Iām frustrated and honestly feeling a bit defeated. Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you help a child see the positives without dismissing their feelings?
Totally get this. My son went through a similar phase where nothing was ever good enough. Weād go to the park and heād complain about the swings being too slow or the slides too short. I started calling out the positives, like wow look how high you gotā¦but it didnāt seem to stick at first. What helped was modeling gratitude during family dinners, each person shares one good thing about their day. Itās slow progress, but I see little shifts now. Hang in there!
This sounds so familiar, Olivia! My 11-year-old was like that for a while and it drove me nuts. What worked for us was helping her reframe her thoughts. After a negative comment, Iād gently ask what went well, over time, it helped her notice the good stuff too. Another strategy we tried was a āpositivity journalā where she wrote down three good things from her day before bed. It felt silly at first but she eventually warmed up to it.
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Ugh, my kidās the same! Itās exhausting.
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Olivia, youāre not alone! My oldest used to focus only on what went wrong, even during big celebrations. Itās heartbreaking and so frustrating as a parent. One thing that worked wonders for us was creating a āpositivity jar.ā Every time something good happened, no matter how small, weād write it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Over time, it became a ritual, and she started looking for positives to add to the jar. On tough days, weād pull out a few and read them together. It helped shift her perspective bit by bit. Kids often mirror what they see, so celebrating even the tiniest wins can have a big impact over time. Youāre doing great just by trying to help her! 
Totally get this. My son went through a similar phase where nothing was ever good enough. Weād go to the park and heād complain about the swings being too slow or the slides too short. I started calling out the positives, like wow look how high you gotā¦but it didnāt seem to stick at first. What helped was modeling gratitude during family dinners, each person shares one good thing about their day. Itās slow progress, but I see little shifts now. Hang in there!