My heart aches as I write this. A few days ago, my children’s grandmother passed away, and I’m struggling with how to help them cope. She was such a huge part of their lives every Sunday afternoon was spent at her house, baking cookies, telling stories, just being together. Now, those afternoons are suddenly empty, and I’m watching my kids wrestle with emotions that feel too big for their little hearts. My 7 yo has been quiet, retreating into himself, and my 9 yo keeps asking questions about her death. I feel so lost in knowing how to help them grieve, especially when I’m grieving myself. Have any of you gone through something like this? How did you help your kids say goodbye?
Oh Jessica, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My kids lost their grandpa a few years back and it broke my heart to see them trying to make sense of it. We ended up creating a little “memory box” together filled it with pictures, notes, and little things that reminded them of him. It didn’t fix the pain but it gave them a way to keep those memories close. Your kids are still processing, and they might need to talk about her in bits and pieces as they feel ready. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can just by being there for them. Kids are resilient but grief is hard to understand at that age.
Jessica, I can only imagine how tough this must be for you and your kids. My own mother passed away when my boys were around the same age as yours, and what got us through it was keeping her presence alive in our daily lives. At first, I thought talking about her all the time would hurt them, but honestly, it helped more than anything. We started having “Grandma Nights” once a month where we’d do one of her favorite activities together like making her famous pancakes or doing a puzzle, just like she would. It’s been years now but those little traditions have kept her memory strong and my boys talk about her all the time, like she’s still part of their lives. Maybe your kids would benefit from something similar? It doesn’t have to be complicated, just something that feels like a piece of her is still with them. You’re showing such strength by reaching out; it’s not easy to help kids through grief when your own heart is hurting. You’ll get through this, one day at a time.