Hi all, I’m Tamara, a mom of two, and my children lost their dad six months ago. I’m really struggling with how to support them through this theyre so young to have to deal with such a huge loss and sometimes I just don’t know if I’m helping them at all. I feel so anxious watching my 10 yo withdraw and I’m scared he’ll start to keep everything inside. For those of you who’ve been through something similar, how did you help your kids? What are some things that worked to let them know they’re not alone? Any advice or thoughts are welcome. Thanks.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through. My heart goes out to you and your children. It’s so hard to help kids process these big feelings, especially when you’re grieving too. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re already doing a great job just by being there for them. Sometimes, having someone to sit quietly with, even without talking, can help them feel safe to open up when he’s ready. 
This might sound silly, but have you thought about doing something active or outdoors together? When I was going through my divorce, I took my daughter on these adventure hikes(. It got us out of the house, and even if we didn’t talk about the hard stuff, it helped both of us. Nature has a way of making things feel a little lighter even if just for a bit!
My son also struggles with big feelings and sometimes, even though the situations are so different, I find myself feeling just as lost. Kids grieve in their own ways but seeing them withdraw is heartbreaking, especially when you just want to pull them close. It’s like they have this invisible wall up and all we can do is keep showing up, even when it feels like we’re not doing enough. You’re not alone in this and your love is what he’ll remember most.