Lately my 13 year old has been riding an emotional rollercoaster and I’m struggling to keep up. She’s super sensitive to what others say and think and the smallest thing can send her into a spiral. I get teen years are tough but everything feels so intense for her right now. I just don’t know how to help her manage these huge emotions without making things worse. It’s like walking on eggshells every day and I hate seeing her struggle like this. Has anyone else been through this? I could really use some advice.
Oh Maura, this stage is no joke! My oldest went through the same thing at 10 everything felt like the end of the world. What helped us was giving her space to vent without offering solutions right away. Sometimes, teens just need to be heard without being “fixed,” if that makes sense? Also, it really helped to validate her feelings.Over time, she started to come to me more because she knew I wouldn’t jump straight into advice mode.
One thing I’ll add is that I encouraged her to find an outlet journaling, sports, or even just listening to music alone in her room. It gave her a way to process things on her own terms. She’s 12 now, and while things aren’t perfect, she’s definitely more balanced emotionally. You’ve got this, Maura! It’s a tough stage, but you’re not alone. 
I totally get where you’re coming from, Maura. My daughter was exactly like this at that age , and now she’s 13 and thriving but those teen years were rough. It’s such a confusing time for them: physically, emotionally, socially. One minute, they want to be treated like adults, and the next, they’re acting like little kids. And the emotional ups and downs can make you feel like you’re losing your mind.
Something that worked for us was focusing on connection over correction. Instead of telling her how to feel or what to do, I’d try to connect through little things watching her favorite show together, asking about her day even when she seemed uninterested, or just sitting with her quietly when she needed space. It showed her that no matter how wild her emotions got, I was there for her.
I also found it helpful to set boundaries around how I reacted to her emotions. There were days I wanted to scream back or fix everything but I’d remind myself that it’s okay if she’s upset. She needed to learn how to manage those emotions herself.
One last thing if you can, try to encourage friendships with kids who have similar values. Peer influence is huge at this age and having a solid friend or two can make a world of difference. Just remember, it’s not about being the perfect parent. It’s about showing up, over and over, even when things feel impossible.