I’ve been reflecting a lot lately, and I realize that being too permissive with my 4-year-old is catching up to me. For a long time, I gave in because it was easier in the moment—less crying, fewer tantrums, and honestly, I felt guilty saying no. But now, it’s clear that the lack of limits has made them expect things to go their way all the time. If I say no, they either melt down or get really angry.
I’m trying to work on it. I’ve started small: screen time limits, asking for things politely, saying no and actually sticking to it. Some days it goes okay, other days it’s a full-on battle. What’s helping a little is reminding myself over and over that structure is love. But it’s hard not to feel like the “bad guy,” especially when the tears come.
Has anyone else struggled with this? I’d love to hear how you handled the shift from permissive to more structured parenting
Hi! I just recently had to “battle it out” over picking up Lincoln logs. My son is an only child, and only goes to school 3 days a week, and basically our schedule is not very rigid so he gets to basically do what he wants. I drive him for naps. His father is much louder and my son kind of ignores him.
I have an ask one time policy. But I also negotiate, trade and bribe like it’s the stock market all the time. I think now that he’s almost 4, some tough boundaries and roles need to be defined.