Before, everything was chaos. My son would explode over the slightest thing, and I’d end up screaming or crying. I felt like I had no control and was drowning in frustration. But little by little, I learned. I had to be his calm, not his storm.
Now, when I see him getting angry, I take a deep breath, lean down to his level, and speak slowly. I offer options instead of demands. It doesn’t always work instantly, but the tantrums are shorter, and I don’t get carried away by the storm like I used to. It’s not perfect, but it’s better, and I finally feel like I can breathe again
This shocked me so much. My daughter was the same: she screamed constantly, threw things, and I felt like the worst mother because she cried or yelled. I remember one time she had a meltdown because a banana split in half, and I lost it. But then I started reading about emotional regulation, and things slowly started to improve. It’s like they can’t control their feelings, so we have to be their anchor. Breathing, crouching, slowing down their voice… it works. It took time, but now she calms down faster. I’m so glad you’re seeing the difference. You’re doing great, and this is huge progress!
I’m so sorry. My three year old was the queen of tantrums. I swear everything was a struggle. Socks feel weird? Meltdown. The wrong spoon? Meltdown. I started having a calming kit with little stress toys, a sensory bottle, and a tiny stuffed animal, and that helped a little. But honestly, what made the biggest difference was staying calm. It’s so hard not to explode, but as soon as I stopped yelling and started talking to him quietly and slowly, it was like his brain rewired itself. It didn’t happen overnight, but after a few weeks, I realized he was actually listening to me instead of just yelling at me. It’s amazing that you’re seeing progress; it means he’s learning from you. Keep it up, Mom!
This is proof that what you’re doing is working! They’re still little, their brains are still forming, and you’re teaching him how to manage emotions in a way that will help him throughout his life. I know it’s still exhausting sometimes because, gosh, they’re toddlers!, but I promise you, this will pay off. My oldest son was the same at three, and now, at six, he still has strong feelings, but he can talk about them instead of throwing himself on the floor. It’s like night and day. Keep at it; you’re laying the foundation for emotional intelligence, and that’s very powerful
Some days I feel like I’m making progress, and other days it’s like we’re back to square one. How long did it take you to notice a change? Did you do anything specific to help him go from a meltdown to calming down? My son resists even when I try to calm down. I’d love to know what worked best for you!
One thing that helped us a lot was narrating emotions out loud. For example: I can see you’re frustrated because you wanted the blue cup and I gave you the red one. At first, I felt ridiculous, but over time, my son started using those words instead of yelling. I also started giving warnings before transitions, like, In five minutes, we’re going to clean up. That cuts meltdowns in half. I read that toddlers feel very out of control, so when they have a little predictability and a small choice even if it’s small, they don’t panic as much. It sounds like you’re already doing some of this, and the fact that you’re seeing progress means you’re on the right track
I have a seven year old now, and let me tell you: what you’re doing is going to make a huge difference. When mine was three, I didn’t handle it well at first and saw how it affected him. When I started controlling myself, everything changed. Now, he can tell me what’s wrong instead of lashing out, and I think it’s because I stopped reacting and started guiding him. Just remember that, even when it doesn’t seem like it, he’s learning from you every time
You’re doing everything right! One thing that helped us was teaching him techniques for calming down outside of meltdowns. When my son was calm, we would practice deep breathing together or squeeze a stuffed animal. That way, when he was really upset, he already had tools to use. Another trick? Labeling his feelings. You’re frustrated because you want to go outside, but it’s raining. Kids don’t always know what they’re feeling, and sometimes just naming it helps them process it. I also started letting him have some control, like choosing between two shirts or choosing between brushing his teeth first or putting on his pajamas first. Small decisions make a big difference. You’re already seeing improvement, which means you’re on the right track. Keep it up, Mom!