This morning was rough. My 3yo had a full blown meltdown over… shoes. We were already late and he just refused to put them on. He screamed, cried, threw himself on the floor, and nothing I did helped. I tried talking calmly, tried offering help, even tried letting him pick which shoes, and nothing. He just kept screaming
Eventually I lost my patience and raised my voice too. After he finally calmed down, I felt so guilty. It’s hard seeing your kid so out of control and not knowing what to do or how to help. I’ve never felt so exhausted and helpless as a mom. It was just shoes. I can’t stop thinking… if this is what 3 looks like, what’s next?
I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Does it ever get easier?
You handled a hard moment, even if it didn’t go perfectly And that’s parenting, it’s messy and emotional and confusing, and it’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It does get better. Not because the kids magically stop having big feelings, but because you get better at reading the signs and finding your rhythm At 3, they don’t have the language or tools to express what they’re feeling, so it explodes out as screaming and flailing. But the more it happens, the more you learn how to guide them through it I remember thinking “I’ll never survive this stage” and now, at 5, I see how far we’ve both come Be gentle with yourself, one hard morning doesn’t define you as a mom
Why is it always the shoes?? lol
Mine will run around happy one second and then lose it the moment I grab socks or shoes like it’s the most offensive thing ever
I try to give options too and even that seems to make it worse sometimes
Like is it better to just grab the shoes and go or do they need the illusion of control?? I never know
What ended up calming your son down btw? I’m always curious what works for others when nothing logical is working
My now 4yo was the exact same way at 3, every single morning something would set her off, and shoes were a BIG one. What worked for us was shifting everything 15 minutes earlier. Not fun lol but taking the time pressure off lowered my stress, which helped her stay calmer I also started giving her “power” in tiny ways, like putting her shoes in a “special” basket she picked or letting her pick between two outfits the night before. It sounds simple but those small choices gave her a sense of control and lowered the battles And on bad days, I just had to breathe through it and remind myself her brain wasn’t developed enough for logic or negotiation yet. You’re doing the best you can, try not to hold onto the guilt. Each meltdown is just another step in their emotional growth
So we started doing themed days, like Taco Tuesday or Breakfast-for-Dinner Thursday, and it made it easier on me plus gave my toddler some structure around food. I also batch cook 2, 3 meals a week and mix and match sides. I always try to include a protein, a carb, and something green or orange lol. When I run out of ideas, I follow accounts like Feeding Littles and Solid Starts for inspo. And I keep reminding myself: toddlers are naturally picky and it doesn’t mean I’m failing