I don’t want my 4yo to become dependent on a phone or spend hours glued to the screen, but I also know that at some point he has to learn to use it responsibly. I want to start little by little without it becoming a problem. How can I prevent him from getting used to always having it? Are there rules that work? How long is it healthy? I want it to be a tool, not an eternal distraction…
I’m right there with you. My son is 5, and we introduced a tablet, and now he asks for it all the time. I totally get the fear of it becoming a crutch. What’s worked a little for us is setting super clear rules, like, he can use it for 30 minutes before dinner, but then it goes away. Also, making sure there’s other engaging stuff for him to do, like puzzles or outside time, has helped keep him from obsessing over it. I wish I had a perfect solution, but just here to say i get it. It’s such a tricky balance 
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I totally hear your concerns, but I promise it doesn’t have to turn into a screen addiction! We worried about the same thing with our daughter, and honestly, it turned out better than expected once we set clear boundaries.
One thing that really helped was making screens a structured activity instead of a default. So instead of saying, Okay, here’s your phone, we’d say, It’s time for your 15 minute Spanish app or Let’s call Grandma! That way, it always had a purpose and wasn’t just mindless scrolling or watching videos.
And I was so worried she’d constantly ask for it, but surprisingly, once she realized she wouldn’t just get unlimited access, she stopped begging. We also made a rule that screens go away when we’re outside or doing family activities. She got used to it pretty quickly.
I know it feels overwhelming right now, but with a solid plan, you can totally make it a tool and not a problem. You got this! 
My oldest is 7 now, and looking back, I wish I had been stricter from the beginning with my kids and screens. When they were little, I let them have just a little here and there, but the problem is, they always want more. It’s so much harder to take it away later than it is to be strict from the start
I’m in the same boat! My 4yo sees older cousins using their phones and keeps asking for one. I don’t even know where to start. Do you use parental controls? Or just limit time? I don’t want him to feel left out, but I also don’t want to open the floodgates too soon.
How do you handle when they throw a fit after screen time is over? That’s my biggest fear… If I let him use it, even for just 10 minutes, I feel like I’m signing myself up for a meltdown when I take it away. Any tips on making that transition easier? 