I don’t know how to regulate it or how to discipline him. At first, it was just for emergencies and to communicate, but now he spends hours glued to the screen watching videos, playing, and chatting, sometimes until late at night. I try to set rules, but there are always excuses or arguments. When I tell him to put it away, he gets angry and even scolds me. I see him irritable, distracted, and awake at school. His friends have come down, and at home, he hardly talks to me. I don’t know what to do. I feel like he’s lost control, and I’m worried about what this is turning into
these kids are mini tech addicts! My son once tried to negotiate “one more level” like he was making a high-stakes business deal. “But, Mom, I NEED to finish this mission, or my whole team will lose!” Like, excuse me?? Who is this team, and why do they have more authority than me? 
We had to lock the phone away in a kitchen cabinet at night because he was sneaking it under the covers. Parenting in the digital age is wild
Oh wow, this sounds exactly like what we went through with my 9 year old last year. We gave him a phone “just for emergencies” too, and within months, it became a full, blown battle. The tantrums when we took it away, the sneaky screen time, the total disinterest in anything else, it was brutal.
What finally helped was a complete reset. We took the phone away for a full week (absolute meltdown ensued, of course), but once he got used to life without it, we reintroduced it with strict limits: no phone after 7 PM, only 1 hour of screen time for non-school stuff, and all passwords were shared with us. He fought it at first, but after a few weeks, things settled.
It’s hard, but you’re not alone. The tech battle is real, and I swear, these kids act like we’re taking away oxygen when we take their screens! Stay strong, you’re doing the right thing trying to rein it in now
It’s like once they get hooked, their whole personality shifts. My kid used to love talking about dinosaurs and building Legos, now all he wants to do is play Roblox and watch YouTube shorts. And the attitude when you say no?? I didn’t know an 8 year old could roll their eyes that hard. I don’t have a solution, just here to say I see you. It’s so hard
I totally get why you’re worried, but the good news is this doesn’t have to be permanent. It’s tough to set boundaries, especially after the habit has already formed, but kids are super adaptable. It might take some pushback at first, but once he realizes the new rules are firm, he’ll adjust.
Try framing it as something positive, like, “We’re going to have more fun time together” instead of “No more phone!” It’s not easy, but I promise, it’s possible to find a balance. You got this, Dad!
Wow, this is hitting home. We’re debating getting our 8 year old a phone for emergencies, but this is exactly what I’m afraid of. How did it start spiraling out of control? Was it gradual, or was there a specific point where you realized, “Okay, this is a problem”? And if you could go back, would you have waited longer before giving him a phone?
Been there, struggled hard, and finally figured out a system that works for us. My son got his phone at 9, and within months, we had the same battles, sneaking it into bed, ignoring us, getting irritable, and even sneaking it to school. We tried talking, we tried reasoning, but nothing worked.
Here’s what finally turned things around:
Parental Controls – We set app limits (YouTube = 30 min, games = 1 hour), and everything shuts off at 7 PM automatically.
No Phones in Bedrooms – We created a charging station in the kitchen. At night, everyone (even us parents!) puts their devices there.
Earned Screen Time – Homework, chores, and outdoor play FIRST. If those aren’t done, no screens. Period.
Weekend Flexibility – We let him have more time on weekends so it feels less restrictive.
The first few weeks were awful. There were tantrums and arguments, but we held firm. Now, it’s just the norm. It’s not easy, but it is possible to rein it in!
I have two teens now, and let me tell you—it’s 100x harder to set limits when they’re older, so setting those boundaries now is huge. Trust me, you’re doing the right thing stepping in before it gets worse.
With my older son, I didn’t regulate his phone use enough early on, and it turned into a real issue. By middle school, he was staying up until 2 am on his phone, his grades dropped, and he barely talked to us. It was so much harder to break that habit at 12 than it would have been at 8.
With my younger son, we did things differently. Phones stay downstairs at night, no social media before 13, and we actively talk about internet safety and screen addiction. He still grumbles sometimes, but overall, he has a much healthier relationship with tech.
So my advice? Hold your ground now. It will be tough, but future-you will be so grateful you did.