Hey everyone, I’m really having a hard time with my 4-year-old. Lately, whenever he doesn’t want to do something, like getting dressed or picking up his toys, he just completely loses it. He starts throwing things, screaming, and nothing I say seems to calm him down. It’s super frustrating because it feels like no matter how calm I try to be, it always ends up in a huge battle. I really don’t want to end up shouting at him, but sometimes I’m just so overwhelmed. I want to help him calm down and understand what I’m asking without everything turning into a meltdown.
I’ve been there, and it’s exhausting. What really helped was giving him choices. Like, instead of saying, “You have to pick up your toys now,” I’d ask, “Do you want to pick up your toys now or after dinner?” It made him feel like he had some control, and the power struggles started to ease up. Also, acknowledging his feelings helped. I’d say something like, “I know you don’t want to stop playing, but it’s time to clean up.” It doesn’t always prevent the tantrum, but it has definitely reduced the intensity. Hope that helps!
Oh man tantrums are tough. Emilio of 4-year-old has these epic meltdowns too and sometimes I just need to step away for a second to breathe One thing that’s worked for us is having a “calm corner.” It’s a little space with a bean bag and some toys that are only for when he’s upset. When he starts losing it, I tell him to take a break there, and we talk once he’s calmed down. It gives both of us a moment to cool off. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re doing great!
I hear you. My kid had a full-on tantrum last week because I asked him to put on socks. Socks! Sometimes the smallest things throw him out of control and I just remind myself he is learning and I just let it pass and once he’s calm I talk to him about what just happened.