I have such a hard time correcting my 2 year old because seeing him cry breaks my heart, but I also know that I can’t just let him do whatever he wants all the time. A few days ago, for example, he grabbed my phone and wouldn’t let go. When I tried to take it from him, he threw a huge tantrum. I felt frustrated, tired, and guilty all at once.
Am I being too harsh? Or too permissive? I want to teach him boundaries without making him feel like I’m “the bad guy.” Sometimes I feel like I’m failing, but I know it’s important for his growth. I just wish it wasn’t so hard
Oh, Adrian, I get this so much. My 2 year old is the same exact way. I swear they think they’re little dictators. Every time I say “no,” it’s like the world is ending. Just know you’re not alone, it’s so tough, but it doesn’t mean you’re failing.
My little one did the same thing last week, but it was with my car keys. I ended up giving him a spare to hold while I grabbed the real ones back. Honestly, the guilt is real, and it’s exhausting to always feel like you’re “the bad guy.” You’re doing fine, it’s just a rough age. Stay strong
I’m so with you. The tantrums are next-level, and it’s so draining to feel like no matter what you do, it’s the wrong thing. I don’t have advice, but I feel like we’re all just trying to survive this stage, you know?
I’ve been there, and honestly, one thing that helped us was giving our little guy choices. Like with the phone situation, I’d say, “You can play with this toy phone or this stuffed animal. Which one do you want?” It didn’t always work, but giving him a little sense of control made a huge difference over time. Also, when tantrums happened, I started validating his feelings: “I see you’re upset because you want my phone.” Sometimes just naming their feelings calms them down
It’s so hard now, but they also learn a lot every day. The fact that you care about this shows that you’re a great parent. You’ll figure out what works for both of you, keep trying!
Thanks for all your replies, everyone. It helps just knowing I’m not alone in this. I’m going to try the “choices” idea and see if it works. I think I also need to remind myself that it’s okay if he cries sometimes, it doesn’t mean I’m failing. These tantrums are brutal, though. 
As a mom of three (youngest is 4 now), I promise you this phase doesn’t last forever. Consistency was my best friend when my kids were toddlers. Boundaries are tough, but they need them. It’s okay to let them cry, kids are resilient. I always told myself: “I’m teaching them life skills, not just saying no.” Hang in there, Adrian!