Now, it seems like a daily struggle. I’ll put food on the table, and he always has something to say: he doesn’t like it, he’s not hungry, he wants something else. And it’s not just new dishes; he even rejects his favorites.
I try to stay patient, but sometimes I lose it and raise my voice, which I know only makes it worse. Then I feel terrible because I know yelling isn’t the solution. I’m so exhausted. Part of me wonders if I’ve been too lenient, or if I just haven’t set clear enough boundaries.
I’ve read that this is a normal phase where kids test independence, but that doesn’t make the battles any easier in the moment. I just want him to eat and for these fights to stop. It’s so hard not to take it personally, but I’m trying to figure out how to handle this better.
Any advice or even just commiseration would be amazing right now
Hey Lindsay, I can totally relate to this. My daughter went through a similar phase at 5. She would literally sit at the table for 45 minutes refusing to eat while I felt my blood pressure rising. Someone once told me, “You can’t force them to eat, but you can control what’s offered.” That really stuck with me. So I stopped making mealtime about what she wanted and made it more about a routine: “This is what’s for dinner. You don’t have to eat, but this is all there is.” It took a few weeks (and some skipped meals), but she finally got the message. You’re doing your best, and this stage won’t last forever, I promise. 
Omg, same boat here! It’s so exhausting, isn’t it? Sending hugs
Hi Lindsay, as a mom of three (7, 9, and 4), I’ve been through this with each of them! It’s so common, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. Here’s what worked for me:
Family-Style Meals: Serve everything in the center of the table and let him pick what he wants. Giving some control can help avoid power struggles.
Smaller Portions: Sometimes, they’re overwhelmed by a full plate. Start with tiny amounts, and he can ask for more if he’s hungry.
No Pressure: Make mealtimes about connection, not eating. If he says he’s not hungry, try saying, “Okay, but you can sit with us and enjoy the family time.”
Timing: Check if he’s snacking too close to mealtimes. Even milk can ruin an appetite!
Hang in there. It’s not about you being too permissive or doing something wrong, kids just go through these phases. You’ve got this!
I’m a mom of teens now, but oh wow, I remember these days like they were yesterday! One thing I learned the hard way is that making food a battle just doesn’t work. For my kids, I started implementing a “kitchen is closed” rule after meals. If they didn’t eat, that was fine, but no snacks until the next meal. It was tough at first, but they learned quickly.
Also, try to notice if something else might be going on. Sometimes stress at school or feeling overtired can show up as defiance at mealtimes. Remember, you’re the adult here, and he’s still learning. Stay consistent but gentle, and it’ll get better. 
Lol, my son once told me his favorite food tasted “weird” because it wasn’t cut into triangles. Like, really, dude?! Sometimes I think they’re just messing with us for fun. 
Hi Lindsay, I read something recently that might help. At this age, kids start asserting control over their choices, and food is one area they can easily “win.” Experts suggest creating a predictable routine around meals (e.g., same time, no distractions like TV). Offering two choices can also help, like, “Do you want chicken or pasta?” It makes them feel involved without giving too much control.
Also, it’s totally normal for kids’ tastes to change around this age as they develop new preferences. It’s tough, but consistency and patience are key. Keep offering a variety of foods, even if he rejects them at first
THX you all so much for your replies! It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this. I love the idea of family-style meals and smaller portions, I think he might respond well to that. Also, I definitely need to check on the timing of snacks. This has been so helpful already
I know it’s hard right now, but this phase does get better. My daughter used to refuse to eat almost everything, and now she’s 7 and willing to try so many new things. Keep the faith and keep modeling healthy eating, it really does pay off. 
Oh, Lindsay, I hear you loud and clear. My son is 6 now, and we had the exact same struggle last year. What finally helped us was creating a mealtime routine he could predict and feel part of. Before dinner, he “helps” set the table or choose veggies from the fridge. I also started using a timer, when it’s mealtime, he gets a 5-minute warning to wrap up whatever he’s doing. It made a big difference in his willingness to come to the table without complaints.
Also, try not to make a big deal if he refuses to eat. I know it’s hard, but staying calm can take the drama out of it. Kids are clever, they notice when we’re stressed and sometimes push harder. Sending you lots of patience and good vibes!