I’m a parent of a teenager, and I’m noticing small changes in my child that worry me. They’ve become quieter, withdrawn, and don’t want to talk about school. I tried to talk to them, but I’ve been met with silence, not rudeness at all, but they just don’t want to talk. It’s hard to imagine that my happy, confident, and talkative kid could be changing so much so fast. It’s a reminder to stay present, ask questions, and really listen.
Teenagers… it’s such a tough age, for them and us. Hang in there.
When mine was 14 kept worrying and overanalyzing every little thing, but I realized they just needed space to process. It’s not easy to watch, especially when you’re used to them being so open and bubbly. You’re doing the right thing by being present. Just keep showing up, it means more than you think, even if they don’t show it.
I know this phase can be unsettling, but it’s actually a normal part of adolescence. Kids this age are figuring out their identity, and sometimes that means pulling back to reflect and grow. My daughter went through something similar and it was hard not to feel like I was losing her. But one day, out of the blue, she opened up again, about school, friends, and all the things she had been keeping inside. It was a reminder that these quiet phases don’t last forever. Keep the door open, even if they don’t walk through it right away.
This resonates so much. My son became incredibly reserved around the same age, and it scared me. I found myself overcompensating, trying to ask the “right” questions or force conversations. But what finally worked was letting go of that pressure. We started going for drives together; something about not having to make eye contact made him more comfortable. Slowly, he started sharing bits and pieces. It wasn’t overnight, but it showed me that being there without pushing too hard is enough sometimes.
From my experience, finding indirect ways to connect can help. My teen loves music, so I started asking for song recommendations, not in an obvious parenting way, but just to share interests. Gradually, that opened the door to more conversations. It wasn’t immediate, but it built trust. You might find something like this works, whether it’s a shared hobby, watching a show together, or even cooking. Keep experimenting, and know that their withdrawal isn’t a rejection of you, but a sign they’re navigating new challenges.
How do you know when to step in versus give space? I’m struggling with this too.
This is such a hard stage. My oldest is 15, and there are days when I feel like a stranger to them. It’s heartbreaking. You’re doing the best you can, and even if they don’t say it, they notice and appreciate your efforts. Some days, just sitting in the same room together without saying a word can be enough. Trust that the connection you’ve built over the years is still there, it’s just buried under all the changes they’re going through.
I know where you’re coming from. My son just turned 13, and he’s spending all his time in his room. I’m torn between respecting his privacy and wanting to make sure he’s okay. How do you even know when to push?
Thank you all for sharing, it helps so much to know I’m not alone in this. I’m definitely going to try some of these ideas, especially finding subtle ways to connect. It’s comforting to know that silence doesn’t mean they’ve stopped needing us. 