Hi everyone, I could really use some advice. I’m the mom of an 8-year-old boy, and I’ve been feeling super worried about his eating habits lately. It all started when he told me his classmates always bring candy, chips, and soda to school, and now he wants the same because he doesn’t want to feel “different.”
At home, I’ve always tried to give him healthy meals, but I’ve noticed that he sometimes throws away the fruit or yogurt I pack for him and trades for snacks his friends bring. He’s been more tired and cranky lately, and I’m starting to think it’s all related. I want to help him make better choices without coming off as too pushy or making him feel bad.
How can I support him so he doesn’t feel left out but also doesn’t completely give up on eating healthy?
My 9 year old went through the same phase last year. They wanted all the “cool” snacks their friends had, and I felt like the bad guy for sending carrot sticks. It’s such a hard balance between wanting them to fit in and sticking to your values. What helped us was finding healthier versions of those snacks, things like baked chips or low-sugar granola bars. Maybe you could try packing those and talking to him about why you care so much about his health?
We went through this, too, and one thing that worked for us was involving our son in packing his lunch. We’d go to the store together, and I’d let him pick out a few “fun” items (like pretzels or cheese crackers) along with fruits or veggies he liked. It made him feel more in control, and he was more likely to eat what we packed. Another trick was explaining how certain foods give him energy for sports or playtime. That made him care more about eating better because he noticed how he felt
Ugh, I feel your pain. My kiddo does the same thing with snacks, and it’s so frustrating! It’s hard enough to plan meals, and then they go and trade them away. I don’t have any magic solutions, but just know you’re not alone. This age seems to come with all the food battles
It’s hard now, but trust me, it will get better! My older child is 12 now, and while they still love a good bag of chips, they’ve started making healthier choices on their own. Kids really do pick up on the habits we model, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. Keep going, you’re doing great!
Thank you all for your ideas and encouragement. I think I’ll try taking him grocery shopping with me to pick out some snacks, and I love the idea of a reward system for eating healthy during the week. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone in this, parenting is definitely a team sport!
You could try a rewards system. We made a deal with our daughter, if she eats at least part of her healthy snack at school, she gets to pick a treat on Friday. It’s not perfect, but it helped her feel like she was getting some say while still sticking to healthier options. Also, check if the school has guidelines about food sharing. Some schools are pretty strict about that
My oldest is now a teenager, but I went through something similar when they were 8, 9 years old. What worked for us was talking openly about nutrition, not in a lecture-y way but more like, “Hey, did you know these foods help your brain?” Also, I started packing smaller portions of healthier snacks so they didn’t feel overwhelmed. Sometimes less is more. Hang in there; it gets better!