My 13 year old son, I worry about his behavior when I don’t let him have his cell phone all the time. Every time I ask him to put it down, he starts throwing a real tantrum: screaming, slamming doors, and lots of drama. I know these types of reactions are common in adolescence, but I wonder if I’m doing the right thing by limiting his screen time. Sometimes, I feel guilty, but I also know that it’s important for him to learn to manage his time and not rely so much on technology. How do I balance his need to disconnect with the desire to protect him from device addiction?
Omg, it’s like they can’t live without their phones!
I honestly don’t know if it’s just my kid, but every time I try to take his phone away, he acts like it’s the end of the world. I wonder if this is something we all go through? Like, is this just part of them growing up and having to deal with those big emotions? He’s not usually like this, but when it comes to his phone, it’s like a different person comes out. Do you think it’s because they just can’t regulate those feelings yet, or is there something else going on?
The tantrums are real! It’s tough to deal with.
My son is 13 now, but when he was around 11, the tantrums were constant. We took a few steps to help him understand the limits we set, and honestly, it wasn’t just about the phone, but about boundaries in general. One thing that really helped was creating a routine that included phone time but also a lot of other activities he enjoyed. We would go for walks, play games, or do something else active. It didn’t stop the tantrums right away, but eventually, he learned that there were things beyond the phone that were just as fun. Patience, consistency, and a little bit of compromise went a long way in our case.
Thanks so much for all the responses, everyone. I’ve tried some of the strategies mentioned, like setting limits and creating phone-free zones, and it’s definitely been a work in progress. I know it’s about finding the right balance, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel like the bad guy. I think the hardest part is dealing with the tantrums — I’m hoping that with time, he’ll learn to manage the frustration better. I’ll keep trying, and hopefully, we can find a routine that works for both of us.
My oldest is 16 now, and I’ve been through this phase with both my kids. It’s so exhausting, and sometimes it feels like we can’t win. One thing that did help was having a family meeting about phone usage. We talked about the importance of setting limits and how it’s not just to control them, but to protect their mental health and well-being. It didn’t work immediately, but over time, they started to understand. I won’t say it was perfect, but the tantrums were less frequent once we agreed on rules and stuck to them.
My son is 14 now, and for a while, he was addicted to his phone. It seemed like no matter what I did, he would throw a fit when it was time to put it down. What I started doing was introducing “phone-free zones” in the house, like during dinner or family movie nights, and explaining why it was important for us to have that time together. I also tried making him earn his phone time by getting things done around the house or doing his homework first. I can’t say the tantrums went away completely, but I noticed that with consistent boundaries, he started to respect the phone limits a little more. I also made sure to praise him when he followed the rules without resistance — positive reinforcement really works with this age.
I think it’s really common at this age for them to feel like their phone is their lifeline to the outside world, especially when they’re not able to fully articulate their emotions. I remember when my son was around 13, he would throw the worst tantrums over things like that, and it just drained me. What helped me was being patient, though I know that’s easier said than done. I also started setting some non-negotiables around screen time, like no phones in the bedroom after a certain hour, and that’s helped reduce the fights. One thing that made a difference for us was also creating a “phone contract,” where we both agreed on certain rules and consequences. It wasn’t perfect, but it did lead to fewer power struggles.
My daughter is 14, and I’ve had the same struggles. I get that we need to help them manage their time and not be glued to their screens, but it’s like they become completely obsessed with it. My daughter will even scream and cry when I try to take her phone away, and I feel like I’m just trying to protect her from something bigger. But then, I also feel guilty sometimes, thinking maybe I’m being too harsh. I’ve tried setting screen time limits, but it always turns into a battle. Have you tried giving him small rewards for putting it down without the drama? Maybe that would help.