I barely leave my baby with the sitter, and when I do, he starts crying as if I’m abandoning him. He clings to me with his tiny hands, and his anguished face breaks my heart. I try to calm him down, but as soon as I walk through the door, his crying follows me the whole way. I feel like the worst mother in the world. They tell me it’s normal, that it’s just his age, but what if I’m really causing him trauma? Sometimes I think about leaving him with the sitter for less time, but what if he never learns to be without me?
My son is older now, but I remember this stage perfectly. Separation anxiety peaks at this age, and in some ways it’s a good thing: it means he’s securely attached to you. But I completely understand the fear that I’m traumatizing him. What helped me most was routine. The same goodbye every time, no matter what. Ask your babysitter: How long does he really cry after you leave? My son screamed like the world was ending, but my babysitter told me he was fine in 5 minutes. Knowing that helped me so much with the guilt. You’re not abandoning him; you’re teaching him that he’s safe with others. It won’t last forever, I promise
My sister is a child psychologist, and when I went through this with my daughter, she told me something that helped a lot: the transitional object trick. Find something comforting to keep, maybe a blanket or one of your shirts that smells like you. It gives her a tangible connection to you when you leave. Also, make your goodbyes boring: a simple hug, a Mommy will be back soon, and leave. The more important it is to you, the more important it will be to her. It might feel bad at first, but trust me, after a few weeks of consistency, it gets easier. And the trauma? No. Real trauma happens when children feel insecure, unsupported, or abandoned over the long term, not when a loving mother leaves for a few hours. 
You’re doing great
Oh, Christine, I know exactly what you mean. My son was exactly the same. I couldn’t leave without him clinging to me like a koala, and the crying? Oh my goodness, I used to sit in the car and cry too. I felt so guilty, like I was scarring him for life. But this is what helped: I kept our goodbyes short and sweet: no endless reassurances, no sneaking out, just a simple “Mommy loves you, see you soon!” And then I left even though it hurt. It took time, but one day, I peeked in after I left, and he’d already stopped crying and was happily playing. It doesn’t seem like it now, but your little one will get used to it. And you’re not a bad mother for needing a break or for working; you’re teaching him that he’s safe even when you’re not around. Cheer up!
I hate those moments. My little one does the same thing, and it makes me want to cancel everything and stay home forever. The guilt is incredible. I know people say they stop crying after a few minutes, but it doesn’t make it any easier when you’re the one walking out the door, does it? I’m not giving advice, just sending hugs. It’s so hard. 
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I’m going through the same thing, and I keep wondering… does it ever stop? My little one acts like I’m never coming back, even though I always come back! It’s exhausting. Does anyone else experience that their kids don’t cry when they leave? Or does it happen to everyone? I’m just trying to figure out if it’s something I need to fix or if it’s just a matter of waiting
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