Lately, I’ve been wondering how to help my kids boost their confidence. They’re both great, but they seem to second-guess themselves a lot, whether it’s in sports or schoolwork. I’m trying to find ways to support them without putting too much pressure on them. What have you all done to help your kids feel more confident in themselves, especially in those pre-teen years? Would love to hear what’s worked for others!
One thing that worked for us was encouraging our kids to focus on their effort rather than the outcome. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart!” we started saying, “You worked really hard on that,” or “I can tell you put a lot of effort into this.” It helped them see that they have control over how much they put into something, and the result doesn’t define their worth. It’s a small change, but it’s made a big difference!
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For us, getting our kids involved in activities they choose made a big impact. When they feel like they have a say in what they’re doing, they take ownership of it and are naturally more confident. My daughter chose art classes, and even though she’s not the “best” in her group, she loves it and feels proud of her progress. Giving them that space to follow their interests, without comparison, was key.
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Thanks for the tips! I think focusing more on their effort is something I can definitely start doing. I also love the idea of letting them have more say in their activities. Maybe I’ll talk to them this weekend and see if there’s anything new they want to try. It’s really helpful hearing how others have handled this. 