My 5 YO is the sweetest kid and I remind myself that it’s okay for him to feel this way, he’s still learning how to handle emotions. Some days, I do great at staying calm and helping him through it. Other days, I’m not as patient as I want to be, and I feel so guilty. But I’m learning too. We’re in this together.
It’s so hard! Some days I feel like I’m doing everything right, but others, I just lose my cool. It’s like I know better, but my patience just runs out. You’re definitely not alone in this.
Lol, my son tried to throw a fit today because I wouldn’t let him wear his superhero cape to the grocery store. Kids are insane with emotions.
It’s such a tough balance, isn’t it? The guilt when we lose our cool is real. I’ve been there with my oldest. What helped us was incorporating a daily routine of quiet time after school or before bed, a few minutes where he could calm down and process everything, without me forcing it on him. Also, positive reinforcement really worked. Whenever he managed his emotions better, I’d praise him so he started associating self regulation with positive results. It’s a work in progress for sure, but don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re modeling patience, and that will eventually rub off. Plus, kids are so resilient, and he will remember your kindness and efforts, not just the moments of frustration.
I just want to remind you that you’re doing great, even on the tough days. It’s totally okay to have moments where you’re not your best self, that doesn’t make you a bad parent. I’ve noticed that when I allow myself to take a moment and breathe, my child starts learning how to self regulate too. It’s not easy, but I’ve seen how my own patience is paying off little by little. You’ve got this!
I’ve been through this with both my kids, and I can tell you it does get easier as they get older, but it definitely takes time. What helped me was focusing on validating their feelings, even when they’re irrational. I’d say something like “I see you’re upset because you didn’t get what you wanted. It’s okay to feel mad about that, but we can’t do things like yelling or hitting.” Eventually, they start to understand that big feelings are okay, but the way we express them needs to be respectful. It’s a lot of work, but keep at it!
I get this too, and I’m still not sure how to always handle it. My 5 YO does the same thing, some days he can’t handle frustration at all, and other days he seems so calm. How do you manage when it’s just a meltdown over something little? Like, do you stay calm, or do you try to distract him? I’m so curious how others deal with this!
I think something that really helped me was setting emotion check ins throughout the day. We’d take a moment to talk about how we were feeling. At first, my kid didn’t really get it, but it became part of our routine, and over time, he got better at expressing his emotions more clearly. I’d also suggest a visual aid, like a feelings wheel, that helps kids recognize their emotions. It gives them the words to say, which is half the battle!
I completely understand where you’re coming from. My youngest went through this phase too, and it was draining! What helped me was creating a “feelings chart” with my kid, we’d talk about different emotions and then figure out ways to manage them. Like: When you’re angry, what can we do?
Sometimes he’d pick take deep breaths or tell mommy as a solution. It really empowered him to understand his feelings and helped him express himself more calmly. As for my own patience, I tried to give myself permission to step away when I felt overwhelmed, even if it’s just for a minute to reset. You’re not alone in this, and just the fact that you’re aware of your emotions as a parent is huge. Kids feel that! The patience will come with time and practice. Hang in there!
It gets better! You’re laying such a solid foundation for him to grow emotionally, even if it feels like slow progress. Keep doing what you’re doing!