The teacher told me that he threw a lot of tantrums because he didn’t want his lunchbox, he wanted his classmate’s. I was in shock because he had never done anything like that at home, but of course, here at home he doesn’t see other lunchboxes with different things.
The thing is that I pack his lunch with a special diet because he has allergies, so his food is different. But apparently that didn’t matter to him today, he threw a tantrum, cried, threw himself on the floor, even threw his lunchbox. The teacher tried to calm him down, but nothing worked until he finally got distracted by something else.
I just feel so bad. I don’t want him to feel left out, but I also have to keep him safe. I don’t even know how to handle this
Oh, I totally get this. My daughter has severe food allergies too, and daycare has been such a struggle. It’s so hard because, at home, they don’t really notice they’re eating something different, but at daycare, it suddenly becomes a big deal. My daughter had a similar meltdown over a cupcake at a birthday celebration, and I felt awful. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t have what everyone else was eating.
One thing that helped us was making her lunches extra special. I got fun bento boxes, cut her food into cute shapes, and sometimes added a small non-food treat, like stickers or a fun napkin. It made her feel like her lunch was cool and unique. I also talked to her teacher about making sure she felt included in mealtime conversations even if she was eating something different. It’s so tough, but they do adjust with time. You’re doing great, mama. This is just a bump in the road.
Ugh, that sounds so rough. The worst part is that there’s no easy fix, you can’t just let him eat the other food! I know it must be heartbreaking to see him struggle with this. My son has major cómo over everything, and it’s so hard to explain these things to a little kid. Just want you to know you’re not alone. This parenting thing is hard, especially when you have extra challenges like allergies. Sending hugs
This sounds like such a hard moment, but I promise it will get better. The first few weeks of daycare can bring out all kinds of emotions in kids, especially when they’re adjusting to a new environment. Right now, he’s seeing all this new food for the first time, and of course, he wants it because that’s just how kids work! But in time, he’ll get used to his lunchbox and the routine.
One thing that might help is giving him more control over his lunch. Can he help pack it in the morning? Maybe pick between two different safe snacks so he feels like he has a say? I’ve found that when my son feels like he’s part of the decision, making process, he’s less likely to fight it later.
You’re doing the best thing by keeping him safe. He doesn’t understand that now, but one day, he’ll know how much love and effort you put into protecting him. Hang in there! 
Wow, thank you all so much for these responses. I seriously felt like I was failing today, but it helps to hear that this is a normal part of daycare life and that it will get better. I love the idea of making his lunch feel special instead of just different. I think I’ll try letting him pick out a new lunchbox and maybe involve him more in packing it.
It’s just so hard seeing him struggle, especially when I know I can’t just fix it. But I also know that teaching him to handle these feelings is part of growing up. Ugh, parenting is so emotionally exhausting sometimes! 
I’m going to try a few of these suggestions and see what works. Thank you again for taking the time to respond, it really means a lot. 
Omg, I swear kids will throw tantrums over the most random things! My son went through a phase where he refused to eat his lunch unless it looked exactly like his friend’s. He even had a meltdown because his sandwich was cut into squares instead of triangles. 
I wonder if there’s a way to make his lunch feel cooler to him? Like, would he be into character-themed lunchboxes, or maybe a fun note from you inside? Not that we can outsmart toddler logic all the time because, let’s be real, they will still find a way to lose it over something lol. But maybe making his meal feel like an exciting thing instead of a different thing could help?
Also, does the daycare let you bring something special for him when other kids have treats? Some places allow safe alternatives, which could make him feel less left out. Just brainstorming here!
This is such a common struggle, and I know how hard it is when allergies add another layer to the mix. One thing that has worked for us is normalizing the fact that our child eats differently at home before he even gets to daycare. We talk a lot about how everyone has their own special lunch and that his food is made just for him. Instead of focusing on what he can’t have, we focus on what he does have.
A few practical things that might help:
Let him pick a new lunchbox or accessories that get him excited.
Pack a surprise element a little note, a fun sticker, or a new shape for his food.
Roleplay at home! Pretend you’re at daycare and practice talking about his food in a fun way.
Talk with his teacher about how to make him feel included, sometimes just having the teacher say, Wow, your lunch looks so yummy! can make a big difference.
It might take a little time, but eventually, he’ll get used to his own routine and not be as focused on what others have. You’re doing everything right by keeping him safe and advocating for him. Stay strong, mama!