During the week everything is normal, he goes to bed early and wakes up at a good time, but Friday comes and everything changes. He stays up late, tosses and turns, gets up several times and the next day he’s tired and irritable.
I think it’s because I work on the weekends now and he waits for me. Before I was always home to put him to bed, tell him a story, give him his goodnight kiss. Now when bedtime comes, instead of relaxing, he seems restless, waiting for me to arrive. Sometimes I even find him asleep on the couch, as if he didn’t want to miss the moment.
It breaks my heart to think that my absence is making it harder for him to sleep. Has anyone else gone through this?
Oh wow, this hit me hard because I went through the exact same thing when my schedule changed. My daughter would fight sleep so much on the nights I wasn’t home. It was heartbreaking, and I felt so guilty. But I promise, it gets better. We started a routine where I would record a bedtime message for her, and that helped a little. Eventually, she adjusted, and now she’s back to her usual sleeping habits. You’re a great mom, and he loves you, that’s why he waits for you. But he will find a new rhythm, I promise
Oof, I feel this. My little one struggles with sleep when routines change too. I don’t have a great answer, but just know you’re not alone. It’s so hard when we have to be away, even when it’s for good reasons
My 6 year old does something similar, except it’s when my husband travels for work. It’s like his whole sense of security gets thrown off, even if I try to keep everything else the same. Have you noticed if he sleeps better when you call or check in before bed? I’ve been thinking of trying that but not sure if it would help or just make it worse
My kids are older now, but I remember this phase so well. They crave consistency, and when something changes, especially something like a parent not being there at bedtime, it can really throw them off. What helped us was giving them something of ours to hold onto. My son slept with one of my scarves for a while, and my daughter had a little voice recording of me saying goodnight. It wasn’t an instant fix, but over time, it gave them comfort. Just keep showing up in the ways you can, and he will adjust
This is so tough, but the good news is that kids are incredibly adaptable. It might take a little while, but he will settle into the new routine. Maybe a small ritual could help, like a special goodnight call or a bedtime story over video? It won’t be the same as you being there, but it can still be special for both of you. Hang in there, mama!
Thank you all so much. Just reading these replies makes me feel less alone in this. I love the idea of a recorded story or a small bedtime ritual just for weekends. I’ll definitely try that and see if it helps. I just want him to feel secure, even when I can’t be right there. Fingers crossed we find something that works soon! 
I actually went through this and found that making a “sleep plan” with my son helped. We wrote down his bedtime steps together, even added a little reward chart (a sticker for every night he stayed in bed). I also made sure he had a nightlight and a comfort item from me. At first, it was hard, but within a couple of weeks, he started sleeping better, even when I wasn’t home. Maybe something like this could help?
It sounds like he’s associating bedtime with waiting for you instead of with winding down. Maybe shifting the focus could help? A friend of mine set up a “special bedtime routine” just for the nights she wasn’t there, something different from their usual routine. Her son got to pick a special stuffed animal, and they played a short audio recording of her reading a book. It gave him a sense of connection while still letting him settle into sleep. Maybe something like that could work for your little one?