My 6yo son is about to start school soon, and I can’t stop worrying. He’s always been a shy, sensitive little guy. We’ve talked about how exciting school can be, and I’ve reassured him that it’s okay to feel nervous. But he keeps saying he’s scared of being teased or treated badly by other kids. I don’t want school to become a source of anxiety for him. Any advice on how to help him feel safe and confident as he starts this new chapter?
I totally get this—it’s so hard to see them worry!!!
Starting school can be scary, but kids are resilient. He’ll surprise you!
My son was the same way when he started. He would cling to me at drop, off and say he didn’t want to go because he was afraid no one would like him. It broke my heart. What helped us was visiting the school a few times before the year started so he could get familiar with the classroom and even meet the teacher. We also role, played different scenarios, like how to introduce himself or what to do if someone was mean. By the third week of school, he was actually excited to go. It’s tough at first, but these little steps can make a big difference!
I’ve been there with my now 10yo. When he started school, he was super shy and hated being around big groups. One thing I found helpful was talking to his teacher early on. I explained his personality and what he was nervous about, and the teacher made sure he felt included. She paired him with a buddy who was really kind, which eased him into making friends. At home, we practiced “what if” situations, like what to do if someone teases him (ignore, tell a teacher, etc.). Also, I gave him a small token to keep in his pocket, like a worry stone, so he had a reminder that he could handle tough moments. By the end of the first month, he was doing great!
Wow, this sounds just like my 5yo! He’s starting soon too, and he’s already telling me he’s scared kids won’t like him. I’m curious, have you thought about asking the school if they have a buddy system or activities for shy kids? I’m wondering if that might help my son too
Thank you all for the advice! I hadn’t thought about reaching out to the teacher ahead of time or practicing scenarios at home, that’s so helpful. I feel a little more hopeful knowing other parents have been through this too. 
It’s so hard seeing them struggle with this, isn’t it? I feel like we just want to protect them from everything, but we can’t always be there to shield them. I don’t have a solution, but I really hope things go smoothly for you both.
My oldest is 12 now, but when she started school, she was so nervous that she cried every morning for a week. What worked for us was creating a consistent morning routine that made her feel secure. We also started focusing on small wins, if she said “hi” to someone new or tried a new activity, we’d celebrate it. Another thing I did was remind her that feeling nervous means she’s about to grow and learn something new, which helped her reframe her anxiety a little. I also found that talking about the fun parts of school, like art class or recess, helped shift the focus from her fears to things she could look forward to. It gets easier with time, I promise