From day one, nothing went like the books. My baby wouldn’t latch on properly, and I was thinking in my head: Why is this supposedly natural thing so hard? At the hospital they tried to help, but when we got home, the problems only grew. Pain, cracks, whole nights of crying, him and I. I’ve tried everything: pillows, positions, advice from half a dozen friends, and even YouTube videos at 3 a.m. Nothing seems to work. My baby is cranky and hungry, and I’m exhausted and ready to throw in the towel. Today, after another sleepless night, I’m seriously considering switching to medicated formula. I know it’s not what I dreamed of when I was pregnant, but I feel like my mental health and my baby’s well-being need it
Oh mama, I’ve been there, and it’s such a tough place to be. Breastfeeding is sold as this magical bonding experience, but no one tells you how hard it can be. I had similar struggles, my LO wouldn’t latch for weeks, and I felt like such a failure. It took a lactation consultant and a ton of tears before we found a rhythm. But here’s the thing: your baby’s well-being and yours matter equally. If switching to formula feels right, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. Fed is best. Sending you hugs and strength
Hang in there, Dana. I know it feels like nothing is working, but things can change so quickly with babies. Have you tried reaching out to a lactation consultant? I thought I’d never get my LO to latch, but one visit changed everything. Also, sometimes babies just figure it out a little later. Don’t lose hope yet, and remember: you’re doing an amazing job, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You’ve got this!
I totally feel this post in my soul. I had nights where I’d just sit and cry while my baby cried. Breastfeeding is hard, period. I don’t have any magic advice, but I want you to know you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel like it’s too much, it’s overwhelming for everyone. And if you do decide to switch, it’s not the end of the world. It’s the start of you both getting some peace and sleep
Dana, first off, you’re not failing. This is all a learning curve for both you and your baby. I had a similar experience with my first, and these are some things that helped us:
1- A nipple shield—it was a game changer for getting my baby to latch.
2-Warm compresses before feeding—it helped ease some of the pain and made things a little smoother.
3-Cluster feeding—it’s exhausting, but letting my LO nurse more often seemed to help him figure it out.
Don’t underestimate pumping! I pumped and bottle-fed for a few weeks, and it was the reset we both needed.
Finally, if formula ends up being your path, that’s totally okay. Your baby’s health and your sanity are what matter
girl, my breastfeeding journey felt like a comedy of errors. Day 1, my baby acted like my boob was a foreign object. By day 3, I was convinced I’d never sleep again. I tried every position from football hold to something I think I invented at 2 a.m. The breaking point? When I spilled a whole bottle of pumped milk, I cried more than my baby! But you know what? We found our groove eventually, and I laugh about it now. You will, too, no matter what path you take
I’ve been where you are, and I promise it gets better, or at least less overwhelming. With my first, breastfeeding was a nightmare. I lasted three weeks before switching to formula. By the time my second came along, I went straight to pumping because I knew it worked better for me. The thing I’ve learned is there’s no “one right way.” Your mental health is part of the equation, too. If formula helps you feel less stressed and your baby gets fed, that’s a win. Trust your instincts, and don’t let the mom guilt creep in. You’re doing great
I’m honestly wondering the same thing, why does breastfeeding look so easy for everyone else but feel impossible for me? I’ve tried the pillows and YouTube tutorials, too, but my baby just gets frustrated. Did you try a lactation consultant? I’m debating if it’s worth it or if I should just pump full time. Would love to know what’s worked for others here!
THX you all for the encouragement and advice. Reading these replies has brought me to tears, but in a good way this time. It’s such a relief to know I’m not alone in this struggle. I haven’t tried a lactation consultant yet, but after seeing so many of you mention it, I’m going to make an appointment. Also, I’ve heard of nipple shields but was too overwhelmed to try one, I’ll add it to my list. And to those who shared about switching to formula, thank you for reminding me that my baby’s happiness and my sanity are the priority. You all have lifted such a weight off my shoulders today
Dana, I feel for you. Breastfeeding is no joke. One thing I learned with my second baby was that tongue, tie or lip, tie can make latching super hard. My baby had both, and once we got it revised by a pediatric dentist, everything improved. Also, have you tried paced bottle feeding with pumped milk? It mimics breastfeeding and might help your LO while you sort things out. Lastly, give yourself grace. Breastfeeding isn’t the only way to bond with your baby. Skin-to-skin cuddles, singing to them, and just being there is what matters most.