I feel like I’m losing this battle, and worse, losing my son. He’s glued to his screen every free second—gaming, TikTok, YouTube. It’s like he’s completely disconnected from the real world. He doesn’t want to spend time with us anymore, and if I ask him to log off, he either blows up or just ignores me. I’m worried about his sleep, his mood, and now even his grades. I don’t know how to set boundaries without turning it into a fight every time. How do you balance this without becoming the “enemy”?
Omg, same here. My 14yo is glued to his gaming chair like it’s life support. I feel you so hard right now. 
This was us last year with my 16yo. He went from hanging out with the family to basically living in his room. Every time we brought up screen time, it ended in shouting. What worked for us was starting small, like agreeing on no screens during dinner. It was tough at first (lots of eye rolls), but it slowly became our little family time again. Once we got that down, we added one screen-free hour in the evenings. It’s not perfect, but I feel like we’re reconnecting little by little. Maybe try small steps like that?
Been there. My oldest is 13 now, but when he was around 11, it was exactly like this. What helped us was setting clear boundaries and sticking to them. We made a family rule: no screens after 10 PM. At first, he hated it, but we didn’t waver, even when he sulked. We also made a deal, he got more screen time if he kept up with his chores, grades, and bedtime. It took a while, but it became part of the routine.
Another tip: try to spend time doing something he enjoys off the screen. For us, it was basketball. It gave us a way to connect without nagging about the screens. It’s not easy, but hang in there. You’ll get through this!
Hey, it feels impossible now, but trust me, this stage doesn’t last forever. My 12 yo used to be the same, and now he’s talking about college and even helping around the house. It’s a phase, and you’ll both come out stronger on the other side. 
I’m right there with you, Naomy. My 13yo daughter is obsessed with TikTok and doesn’t even look up when I talk to her anymore. Have you tried any parental control apps or timers on his devices? I’m debating using one, but I’m not sure if that’s too controlling or if it’ll just cause more fights. Also, does your son get any outdoor time? I’ve been thinking of trying to schedule family walks, but I’m not sure she’d even agree to that. I’d love to hear if you’ve tried anything that’s helped even a little.
Thank you all so much for the replies. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this. I’m definitely going to try setting some screen-free time, even if it’s just during dinner at first. I’m also considering some kind of reward system like a few of you mentioned, it might help take the sting out of limiting his screen time. I’m still nervous about how he’ll react, but I know I need to start somewhere. I’ll keep you updated!
We’ve been dealing with this too. One thing that worked for us was tying screen time to responsibilities. For example, my son earns an extra hour of gaming if he finishes his homework and helps with dishes. We also found that making a family “screen-free day” once a week (Sundays for us) helped a lot. Everyone puts their phones away, even us parents, and we do something together. It took a few weeks to adjust, but now it’s one of our favorite days. Maybe something like this could help?