I want it to be as little traumatic as possible for him and me. He’s already over a year old, and although he eats well and is healthy, he still asks to be breastfed to sleep or when he’s uncomfortable. I’m worried that he’ll become too dependent or that this will interfere with his sleep or mine. I want it to be gradual, with affection, without pressuring him. I’ve tried distracting him with stories or giving him his sippy cup, but sometimes he gets frustrated and cries a lot. I would appreciate ideas from other mothers who have gone through this without making their child feel bad
That’s such a tough spot. You’re not alone in feeling torn about it. The sleep association is real and honestly it can feel like there’s no way to meet both your needs at once. I didn’t manage to wean until almost 2yrs because I just couldn’t deal with the guilt or the tears either. It really is a lot emotionally, and people don’t talk enough about how hard it is for the mom too
Ugh yes same here honestly I feel like I’m in the exact same situation. Like literally copy paste. How do you even know when they’re “ready”? Mine just screams if I try to substitute with a bottle or cuddle. Have you tried dropping just one feeding at a time? Or going out at bedtime and letting someone else do the routine? I wonder if that makes it easier for them not to associate you with milk
So I weaned my daughter around 14 months and what finally worked for us was what our pediatrician called “gentle fading.” Basically, instead of going cold turkey or fully distracting, we shortened each nursing session a little each night, like literally counted to 20 then stopped, and replaced the time with a consistent new comfort like humming a specific lullaby while holding her. It was still hard at first but the pattern helped her know what was coming and it slowly became her new comfort. Daytime feeds were easier to drop than the bedtime ones so we saved that for last. It took a few weeks but no huge meltdowns and she still snuggles to sleep now
I’ve done this three times and let me just say, each kid was so different. What worked best overall was keeping the nighttime routine as calm and consistent as possible but gradually shifting the comfort source. We used a lovey and introduced a bedtime song that was only for sleep. It became part of the transition and helped with the emotional side for both of us. Also don’t feel bad if there are tears, it’s not trauma when it’s handled with love and patience. You’re still giving comfort, just in a new way. My oldest used to nurse to sleep every night and now he’s in 2nd grade reading himself to bed, so trust me it really does pass
please if anyone has the magic trick tell me now lol i can’t take another week of the 2am comfort nurse sessions i love him but i’m sooooo tired