Lately, my little one keeps waking up crying or even screaming, saying he had a bad dream. I try to comfort him, but sometimes it feels like nothing works. I don’t know if this is just a normal phase or if something else is going on. I don’t want to make his fear worse, but I also don’t want him to feel alone in it. We already do a calm bedtime routine, but some nights are just rough, and then the next day, he’s tired and cranky. What else can I do to help him?
Wow, that’s so hard. My daughter went through a phase like this around the same age, and it was exhausting for both of us. She’d wake up crying and clinging to me, and even when I rocked her back to sleep, I just waited for the next wake, up call. It felt endless. I don’t even have a great solution because, honestly, we had to endure it. But I totally understand what you mean about not wanting to make the fear worse. I felt like if I talked about the nightmares too much, it made them more powerful, but if I ignored them, I felt like I wasn’t listening. It’s a fine line. The worst part was her bad mood the next day. I was exhausted, and that made bedtime even harder the next night. I don’t know if this helps you, but I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in this. It’s horrible to see your child scared and not be able to fix it. If you find something that works, please share it, because I’m scared this might happen again with the little one
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Oh my goodness! This is similar to my son last year. He would wake up screaming and completely inconsolable, like he was panicking. It was heartbreaking. We tried everything: leaving a nightlight on, white noise, changing his bedtime routine, but nothing changed much. What finally helped was giving him some control over bedtime. We let him choose his own dream keeper (he chose a stuffed dragon), and each night we activated it by whispering a silly spell. It gave him a sense of security and, honestly, gave me something to do instead of feeling helpless.
It didn’t magically stop the nightmares overnight, but it definitely helped. And we make sure to talk about the nightmares in the morning, but only briefly, like, Wow, that was so scary! But look, you’re safe now! and then we move on. I think making a big deal out of it might have made things worse for him. It’s so hard watching them struggle with this, but I promise it gets better!
Well, my oldest son went through this, and I was desperate to find a way to help him. One thing that worked for us was moving his bedtime up a little. I’d read that overtired children are more prone to nightmares, and I was skeptical, but we moved his bedtime up 20 minutes, and it helped a lot. It didn’t stop the nightmares completely, but they were much less frequent.
Another thing was avoiding TV and screens before bed, even “calm” programs. We switched to reading only books, and it made a huge difference. We also introduced a bedtime mantra: something simple like You are safe, you are loved, you are comfortable. We said it every night before turning off the lights, and now it’s a routine. I think it helped reinforce that bedtime was a safe and predictable time.
I’m not saying this is a magic bullet, but I know how helpless it feels when you just want your child to sleep peacefully. Cheer up, it will get better, I promise!
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We’re dealing with the exact same thing right now! My son wakes up crying and says he saw something scary, but he can never describe what it was. It’s like he’s still half asleep and super confused. Do you think they could be night terrors instead of just nightmares? I’ve read that with night terrors, they don’t remember them well in the morning. Sometimes I wonder if that’s what’s happening to my son, because he wakes up completely disoriented, and I can’t even get him to calm down like I can during the day
I completely understand the difficulty of not wanting to reinforce the fear, but also wanting to be there for him. It’s a very strange balance. Has your little one been able to tell you what his dreams are about? I wonder if that influences how we handle it?
I had this same issue, and what finally worked for us was a combo of small changes. 1) Earlier bedtime, turns out my kiddo wasn’t getting enough sleep, and even 30 extra minutes helped. 2) Waking up gently, before I go in, I open the curtains a bit to let in natural light and turn on soft music. 3) Immediate comfort, I have a little “wake-up snack” ready, like a banana or a few crackers, since hunger was making my son extra grumpy. 4) Fun incentive, nothing big, but I let him pick between two small rewards (sticker, a favorite song in the car) if he gets up without a fuss. It took a couple of weeks to work, but now mornings are so much easier. Maybe try tweaking one thing at a time and see if anything clicks for your son!
Something that really worked for us was doing a dream reset before bed. Basically, if my son had a nightmare the night before, we would make up a fun new version together before bed. For example, if he dreamed about a scary monster, we would talk about how he really just wanted to dance or eat ice cream. It gave him a sense of control and made bedtime less stressful.
I also read that lavender helps you relax, so we started using a lavender pillow spray. I don’t know if it was the scent itself or just the routine, but it definitely helped signal that it was time to wind down. I hope you find something that works soon; it’s so hard when everyone’s sleep is interrupted!