Every morning when I make him breakfast, I feel a knot in my stomach when I think about “private bathroom” time. I have been trying to teach him to use the toilet independently for a while, but he feels very insecure and scared to be alone in that small space.
I remember that, on an outing to the park, he had to use the bathroom and, instead of going, he froze, looking around with obvious nervousness. That day, his frustration and sadness made me realize how important it is for him to feel safe and accompanied, even in moments that should be a natural part of his growth
It’s so hard when they feel scared like that. My son went through something similar around that age, and I just had to stay close and give him extra comfort until he felt more confident. It gets better, but it takes time. You’re doing great by being patient with him
We had a similar experience with my daughter at that age. What helped us was creating a calm and predictable bathroom routine. We’d make it more fun by using a reward system, like letting her choose a special sticker or something small for every time she went by herself. I also stayed close but gave her some space to try on her own. Eventually, she felt secure enough to go without me in the bathroom. Just make sure to keep reassuring him it’s okay to be nervous and he’s not alone. Patience and time really worked for us. Hang in there!
I feel you! My daughter was terrified of the bathroom at that age too. It’s tough, but you’re not alone in this!
Oh wow, I can totally relate to this! My son was really independent in so many ways too but when it came to the bathroom, he was terrified. He would freeze up just like you said and it broke my heart because it felt like he was so frustrated but didn’t know how to express it. It was such a stressful time for me because I didn’t want to rush him or make him feel pressured. I ended up letting him have a few “bathroom time” sessions with a book in hand to distract him, and we also used a nightlight to make the space feel less intimidating. Slowly, he started to feel more comfortable and now he does it without hesitation. It’s amazing how much they grow in such a short time. I know it’s tough, but your little one will get there with time. Just keep reassuring him and maybe try some small distractions like a fun bathroom song or something he loves
I’ve been there. My son went through the same thing around three. I was worried because it seemed like such a natural step for other kids, but he was having a hard time. What worked for us was slowly introducing him to the idea of the bathroom as a safe space. We’d start by just hanging out in the bathroom together, even when he didn’t need to go. We’d read a book or talk about how the bathroom was part of our routine. Eventually, I made a big deal about how “grown-up” it was to use the toilet on his own. I also started to give him little “bathroom moments” where I’d say, “I’m right outside if you need me,” and slowly backed out of the room until he was comfortable. He ended up getting a lot more confident, and now he’s doing it by himself most of the time! I know it feels like it’s taking forever, but they do eventually get there. Just keep supporting him in whatever way makes him feel comfortable
Has anyone else had this issue? My kid is totally independent in other ways, but when it comes to bathroom time, he’s really clingy and scared. I’m not sure if it’s just the space that freaks him out or the feeling of being alone. He’s still too young to explain what makes him nervous, so I’m struggling with how to help him. Does anyone have suggestions for gently encouraging him to feel safer using the bathroom alone?
One thing that worked for us was practicing bathroom independence by gradually reducing my involvement. We used a “bathroom time” chart where each step (e.g., wash hands, flush, pull up pants) was a separate step to master, so he could feel accomplished as he learned each thing. I’d cheer for each step, and eventually, he wanted to do it all himself. You could try doing something similar, but with a positive, slow approach to give him a sense of control over the process. I think that really helped him
I totally get how stressful this can be. You just want them to feel confident, and it’s so hard when they’re not there yet. I went through this with my son, and one thing I did was keep the environment calm and positive, even when he had accidents or was hesitant. He actually ended up being really proud of himself when he started going on his own, like, a huge accomplishment for him. The key is going at his pace and not forcing it. It will happen, just might take a little longer than we think. You’re doing an amazing job being so understanding and patient with him. You’ve got this!