Lately I’ve been torn about how much time to let my 4yo spend on the iPad. He always says it’ll just be for a little bit and then next thing I know it’s been way longer than I expected. He doesn’t throw a fit or anything when I ask him to stop, but I can see he gets tired and kinda irritable afterward.
I guess I’m just struggling to find a balance between letting him enjoy some screen time and making sure it’s not affecting his mood or behavior. I don’t want him to get too attached to it, but I also don’t wanna make it into some forbidden thing that he just wants even more. Has anyone else dealt with this?? How do you know what’s “too much” at this age?
Same here. I totally get the worry. My kiddo gets that spaced out look after screen time and I can tell it’s just too much. But it’s hard bc sometimes it’s the only break I get during the day
Omg this post hit me right in the gut bc I’m in the exact same spot rn. My 4yo will ask real sweetly just for 10 minutes and then he’s still there after like 40 and I didn’t even notice cause I was doing laundry or making dinner or something. I feel bad when I have to cut him off cause I can tell he’s really into what he’s doing on there, but then the cranky attitude comes out and I’m like yup definitely too much lol.
It’s just tough bc the iPad can be SUCH a help when we need a minute but yeah the mood swings after make me question if it’s worth it. You’re not alone in this at all. If you figure out a magic trick for balancing it lmk!!
We struggled a lot with this too, and what ended up working best for us was setting super clear time limits before the screen ever comes on. We use a visual timer (like those red-dial ones) so our son sees the time ticking down. When it dings, screen time is over, no exceptions. We do 30 mins max per day during the week, and up to an hour on weekends. I was nervous he’d freak out when it ended but surprisingly, the consistency helped so much. He knows what to expect now, and we always give him a 5-minute warning before the timer ends so he can wrap up whatever show or game he’s into.
Also, total game changer, we started “earning” screen time with things like tidying up toys or helping with little chores. It made it feel more like a treat than a right, and that helped lower the dependency on it. I totally hear you on not wanting to demonize the iPad, and I agree, there’s a balance. You’ll find what works for your family but thought I’d share what helped us a ton
One thing that helped a lot with our 4yo was creating a simple “screen time menu” each week. I’d print out a little chart with boxes for each day and she’d help me pick what times she’d like to use her iPad. That way, it wasn’t a surprise, and she got to feel like she had a say. If she used it up early in the day, then no more iPad til tomorrow, and she knew that ahead of time.
We also made it a rule that there had to be outdoor time and some kind of play or reading time before any screen time. It helped structure the day and kept her from defaulting to screens when she was bored. At that age they don’t really manage their own time well, so putting the structure in place made all the difference.
We also talk a lot about “screen breaks” and how our brains need rest too. Sometimes we do a quick stretch or dance break after iPad time to reset. It’s helped cut down on the post-screen crankiness too. You’re doing great mama, just asking this question means you’re already being thoughtful about it.